and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
