So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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