Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize