Just fell off a train. Bad.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
