And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
