it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
