Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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