based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
