He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
