your room smells of hookers.
And success
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
