Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am naked and annoyed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
