She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
