Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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