no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
