PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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