oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
