he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
