ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
