Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
