There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
