D3 body, D1 cock
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
