I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
