fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
