Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
