I want to walk on stilts...naked
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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