i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize