im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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