I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
