I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
