Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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