He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
