I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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