I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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