nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
