it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
