i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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