So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
