i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
