naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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