Christians are straight up FREAKS
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
