The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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