She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize