I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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