I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
