of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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