let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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