But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
