farters have to be the big spoon...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
