if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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