Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize