I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
