don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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