I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
