I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
