her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
