I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
