That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
