i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
