Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
