His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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