the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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