I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
