You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
