i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
