My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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