Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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