you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
im on a boat
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