Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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