there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
