Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
