after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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