This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
