i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
